At the end of any given day the only person we truly have to answer to is ourselves. I have a wife and a son and I make decisions with them always included but in the end the decision is mine. If I choose to make selfish decisions than nobody is going to be able to stop me except for me.
My wife and son mean the world to me and I love being a father and husband. Yet each and every day that I make a decision to eat fast food, pizza, drink pop or other sugary drinks I am not truly making decisions with them at the forefront.
When I have a day that I am feeling down and out due to the depression, it is still my choice to get up and face the day or not. When I am the only one home to provide for my young son, if I don’t get up for him then he will not eat, drink or get changed because he cannot yet on his own. It is amazing how much restraint I can muster up for my little man because he has so much to still learn in the world. On the other hand if my wife is here I don’t always have the same restraint as she is an adult and shouldn’t need me.
I’m not saying that it is fair for my wife in any way to have to put up with me because I am fighting depression and I should be able to put in the same effort for her that I do for my son. I don’t claim to be perfect or a complete mess. I try to get up every day and make it a good day.
When you have to battle the demons of obesity and mental illness it seems like the deck is stacked against you. What I do is try to make every day better than the last. I try to make the smallest changes every day that may not be noticeable but at the end of the week, month or year they add up to significant changes.
One of the measures of “success” I use when defining my life long journey with depression and obesity is looking back at where I came from. I have managed to carve out a career, along with a successful marriage and produce and amazing son. (Father’s bias maybe) Ten years ago I don’t think I could have envisioned that I would be where I am today. What I learned in the last decade of my life is that sheer determination with the assistance of those willing to help you can help you achieve a successful life.